Is your brain like a browser with too many tabs open? You’re trying to relax, but your thoughts are racing: “Did I say something stupid in that meeting?” “What if I never reach my goals?” “Why didn’t they text me back?”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken. You’re just dealing with what many call “monkey mind” – that part of your brain that swings from worry to worry, chattering non-stop. It’s exhausting.
The good news? You can learn to calm the monkey. It’s not about never having a negative thought again. It’s about not getting stuck in the thought loop. Here are 3 down-to-earth steps to start.
Step 1: Catch the Monkey (Name the Story)
You can’t stop a thought you don’t notice. The first step is to become a detective of your own mind.
When you feel that familiar spiral of anxiety or frustration starting, stop and say to yourself:
-
“Ah, there’s the ‘I’m not good enough’ story.”
-
“Oh, hello, ‘Everything is going wrong’ channel.”
-
“I’m spiraling into the ‘What if…’ trap.”
By giving the pattern a silly name, you do something powerful: you separate yourself from the thought. You’re not the thought; you’re the one observing the thought. This tiny gap is where your freedom begins.
Step 2: Ground the Monkey (Get Out of Your Head)
When your thoughts are loud, you can’t think your way out. You have to feel your way out by connecting with your body and the world right in front of you. This is the opposite of thinking.
Try one of these, right now:
-
The 5-4-3-2-1 Game: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel (your feet in your socks, the chair against your back), 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
-
Hold Something Cold: Grab an ice cube or splash cold water on your face. The sudden physical sensation is a hard reset for a racing brain.
-
Focus on One Simple Task: Wash one dish mindfully. Fold one towel. The goal isn’t to be productive; it’s to give your brain a single, simple job to do.
Step 3: Talk Back to the Monkey (With Kindness)
Your monkey mind is often a badly trained bodyguard. It’s trying to protect you by pointing out every possible danger, but it’s really bad at its job.
Instead of fighting it, thank it. Seriously.
When a thought like, “You’re going to embarrass yourself,” pops up, try saying:
-
“Thanks, mind, for trying to protect me.”
-
“I hear you, but I’ve got this.”
-
“That’s a possibility, but it’s not the only one.”
This isn’t about fake positivity. It’s about shifting from being a victim of your thoughts to being the compassionate leader of your own mind.
Your Peace is Already There, Under the Noise
Finding a quiet mind isn’t about adding something new—it’s about learning to settle the chaos that’s already there. It’s a skill, like learning an instrument. You won’t be perfect at it overnight, but with a little practice each day, the quiet moments will get longer and the noisy ones will feel less overwhelming.
You don’t have to believe every thought your monkey mind throws at you. Your true, calm self is right there, waiting for the chatter to settle.
